in other news:
if all goes as planned tonight, before i lay me down to sleep, will be marked by a pivot, a turning point if you will....
i've had insomnia for the last twelve years, sleeping at night is just something that has been very difficult for me to do, except in those rare and boyant phases of perfect trust in a lover's arms, so i'm going to try a pill. i havn't done this before because popping seditives has never seemed like a good idea. it's the path that '60's housewives,elvis, and many a mafia mom has traveled down never to return. Not like i was just perscribed mega doses of valium or anything, but it's the principle of the thing,i've been commited to dealing with my self as is, with guidance,with out medication, but twelve years is a long time and i can't live half-awake anymore. so i guess i'll see if it works. i need this change. i need to know what i'm like, what my life looks like when i'm able to get the rest i need when i need to get it.