today: sour green apple belts, an outfit to match, my little pony(i am a hoarse girl, yes it's true when i was a kitten i worked the stabels for lessons, and took every opportunity to saddle up for a trot or gallop {i have ridden a white hoarse though i've never ridden tHe white hoarse},new sneaks, no chemo just yet,though white cells are on the rise, more body builder eating,negotiating experience with mamma, furniture for the new apartment, i want crotans for the my place she says no, i'll be asking the athorities about this one. life and light in a home are very important.
she says; "fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzyy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was she?!?" {he he HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!} in referance to my shorn locks. She also corrected someone's pronuciation of my chosen last name, which i liked i felt her acceptance of it. We speek in mixed tounges german and english woven in and out of each other, discuss the etomology of various languege groups, very nice this chatter. We talk about monsoon season, about hydroplaning and the plesant aroma of what i call the spice trees, what the Navajo call the stink trees and what are commonly known as creasote trees. Later ma' tailors girlie pants given me to better suit my gender bending body and Maleka and i decide that we are not hour glasses or pears or apples, but trees, i say i am an elm tree and maleka is a willow tree, and we both agree that pants should go no higher than two inches below the navel.

go to jibjab.com
funny political ha-ha
watch the "This land" cartoon.
xooooooooo

scince i have my journal down here by the computor i'll relay the experince i had while under going a biopsy of my left lung:

breath in breath out breath in breath out

hold

ohm Shakti ohm Shakti ohm Shakti ohm
athi Shakti maha Shakti para Shakti ohm

she dances the sky
in classic finery
and i float along in the matrix
as this giantess
this creatrix
polarizes galexies
with the shifting of her hips

the needle peirces
makes it's way to the unkown

breath

she sees me in the matrix
and whith
giantess forfinger
and giantess thumb
she plucks me
from the void of all beginnings
and places me as if i were a jewel
upon her robes
and there i sit cradeled
by platnumn setting
as the fancy dancer dances the stars

i'm turnining 25 in five days and i have a cell phone and chillie will be the top food choice and i'm navigating the logistics just fine my body is changing i'm learning to take naps and to move slower and go farther and i feel stronger right now than i have in months, so ha! to the big prankster and much love to the lovelies, my little fsmiliy is finding it's way through all sorts of caverns but we are pulling together and babies will be born strong and healthy and marriges will be put to an end and brought about anew with much blessing, and rounds of crazy eights and go fish still do the trick for family bonding and they are all here today and will all be gone tomorrow,because that's just how we roll. i do love these giants, i call my kin. they have the stealy glint in their eyes.

i'm being so taken care of right now, i'm greatful, there's a lot of surrender in this, i've never been so vulnerable as i am now, so in need of assitsance,because i am a fool i look ahead and wonder,worry and hope that i can take care of myself in the comming months, there's so much change afoot in my life right now, it's hard to keep track of it all, but i have an organizer and my list of contacts, and life will be very different for me, and my ferrelness might just melt into a deep trust in my friend-family who make themselves known in the most wonderful ways. i'm glad to be home.
p.s. thank you karen.

stage 2 poorly differentiated b cell lymphoma
chinese hamsters are saving my life
their overian tincture runs thruogh my blood
i am bundeled up for comfort
walking writing
reminding doctors and nurses that
there is a human being
a whip smart delight behind
the wall of tissue in my lung
and the water sitting on my heart
today i will eat and enjoy
blessed be all of you.
truly truly,
adorned for pleasure
and greatful
day 21

dance in hospital room
i got a cancer don't know what kind
thirteen days in limbo
doctor doctor
doctor doctor
every morning
she he he she
listens
looks earnest

INFORM ME!
INFORM ME!
i don't know what to do
after visiting hours
dance in hospital room